You can do it! You’ve got this. Remember, to be a warm and low-stress host it is essential to toss any sense of perfection right out the window. Got it? Salons are a little messy and unpredictable which makes sense because they are a live gathering of diverse humans towards the end of the day when we are all a little fried.
Hosting a salon—a curated shindig centered around meaningful conversation and/or music —is an art with deep roots that goes back centuries. In 18th-century Paris, salonnières (over here at The Salon Host we like to call them “salonistas”!) like Madame Geoffrin gathered the rockstar philosophers, scientists, artists, and writers in her drawing room, creating an incubator for Enlightenment thinking. Her secret? A warm welcome, a curious charm, a sharp intellect, and the intuition to seat just the right people next to each other.
You don’t need a puffy dress or powdered wig to follow in her footsteps. Whether you’re aiming to build community and grow connections, explore new ideas, provide an alternative to the murky world of online dating, hang out with your friends, or simply spark tantalising conversation, here’s how to host a salon in 2025.
What’s the reason for your gathering? Is it to bring old friends together, meet new ones, mix friend groups, single and want to meet other singles, dig into a big idea, or celebrate an artist or author? Knowing the “why” will shape everything else—who you invite, what the space vibes like, and how the night flows.
Salons thrive on specificity. At least in their early planning stages. “The City in 2050,” “Desire, Lust, Love & Technology,” or perhaps “Is Fashion Redundant?” during Fashion Week Season if that’s your jam—a clear theme gives people something to anticipate. Madame de Staël, a polymath power-player of the Napoleonic era, was famous for salons that blended politics with literature, offering her guests a topic and then standing back to let fireworks fly. The fireworks sparked so dramatically that she was exiled by Napoleon who feared her influence so don’t go that route though no doubt she relished the effect she had on society.
21 – truly agèd, that’s the goal. Mix it all up. Divergent viewpoints, different careers and interests, decades of age difference amongst generations, this is what makes for a lively, warm crowd who have a lot to learn and talk about with each other. And remember, not everyone needs to be a talker. In fact, can you imagine if each one of your guests was a motormouth? It would be unbearable and you’d probably slink off to your bedroom to lie on the floor mid-salon just to get a moment’s piece (yes, I do this at almost every salon I host!) —good listeners are often the unsung heroes of a whopping great night, they ask thoughtful questions and listen attentively to the answers, their eyes alert. Historian Benedetta Craveri reminds us that 17th-century hostess and courtesan Ninon de Lenclos was as admired for her ability to draw brilliance out of others as for her own intellect.
The ideal salon space is intimate and warm. Live in a shoebox one bedroom apartment? That’ll work really well! Live in a vast concrete palace? Light some candles, create cosy nooks and bring seating together into groups so no one feels lonely off on the edges. Dim the lights or, indeed, you could go 100% candlelit! That would be astonishing in 2025 and oozing vibe (NOTE: smart hosts always have a fire extinguisher or two nearby). Everyone looks better at the end of the day under dim lighting. Flowers and branches from trees and bushes bring nature inside which is always a good look. You don’t need to overdo it. Piles of books are not a bad thing. But dirty laundry should be hidden. Spare cushions come into their own when people need to sit on the floor. In Gertrude Stein’s 1920s Paris salon, paintings by Matisse and Picasso hung crookedly on the walls, but the guests came for the layered conversation, not the decor.
Some salons feature a guest speaker or performer. Others revolve around a few provocative questions. Decide how structured you want it to be, but keep room for spontaneity. The magic often lives in the unscripted moments. The salons that I host are almost always from the same formula: I choose a topic and then I find someone to interview. I prefer interviewing someone rather than having a speaker per se as that way I (as the host) can gauge the crowd and keep the convo moving at some pace. In between the questions, we have a performer, and currently that is our artist-in-residence Queen Esther. QE and I banter back and forth, it’s unscripted. Allow lots of room and time for people to chill out with each other after the formal conversation – definitely don’t kick everyone out immediately. People want to hang out together, and now they have a common anchor, the conversation you moderated.
Food and drink don’t have to be elaborate—but they help prop everyone up after a long day and they also lace the tummy so people don’t get trashed. Plan in advance. Plan. Plan. Plan. That is all. That planning may be ordering 6 pizzas to be delivered or it may be a not-sit-down dinner menu. Ask for help. Keep it simple. Don’t experiment with new recipes. You know all of this.
Make cocktails in large batches in advance prior. Stick with one cocktail … keep it simple.
Ask guests to bring “liquids” so they can contribute.
Can’t be bothered with dessert?
Me neither! I ask everyone to bring a pint of ice cream and we serve that after the talk.
Your job as host is part friend with an open heart & keen ears, and part conductor. Introduce people. Duh! Too busy to do that with finesse? Then ask a handful of friends to act as cohosts with their only job being they make sure new guests get a cocktail and one or two introductions so the newcomers don’t feel uncomfortable and alone. Keep the energy moving at some pace without dominating the evening; it’s important to allow breathing room so guests can have chance encounters with others. In the golden age of literary salons, hosts like Marguerite de la Sablière were known less for holding forth than for knowing when to step back and let the room take over.
Send a thank-you to your guests for taking the time. (Though of course as the guest, send a thank you too!) Share photos. I like to follow up on brief conversations I have at the salons with a lunch or drink with the people to whom I spoke. That way, I can learn what they’re up to, what’s exciting them, and possibly then get ideas for new salon topics. Ultimately, salons are a moment in time, they are ephemeral. Til the next one …
Salons Are Back!
In 2025, the salon has made a triumphant return. It isn’t a relic—it’s a remedy. For distraction. For loneliness. For the despair that online dating offers up. For the gnawing ache of real connection. And you, like the hosts who came before, have everything you need to begin if you poke around this site.
If you’re interested in the history of salons, we have some brief reading for you over here.